


Jealousy

by Lilrayofsunshine



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Au where Pennywise never existed, M/M, Slight Stenbrough, Slow Burn, These kids are happy and not traumatized, fight me, ish, slight benverly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-04 09:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12767793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilrayofsunshine/pseuds/Lilrayofsunshine
Summary: Richie has a crush. A big one. He couldn’t get Eddie out of his head, and it was starting to be a problem, but when some girl decides to ask Eddie out, it becomes an even bigger problem.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Richie was staring at Eddie. Again. He couldn’t help it. Eddie looked adorable. He was wearing his red shorts and an oversized sweatshirt, currently ranting about how much bacteria was on a chip that Richie has dared Bill to eat off the floor. Bill, knowing Richie would’ve held it against him if he didn’t, ate the chip. Which led to Eddie lecturing Bill on how gross it was.

Richie sighed deeply, leaning his head on his hand and just watching Eddie’s lips move. He felt Bev elbow him and he turned to her. She just raised her eyebrows, grinning at him. He smacked her arm and shot her a look.

Beverly was the only one who knew about Richie’s crush. They had been smoking together, and Richie just couldn’t help it. Bev kept insisting he tell her which girl he liked. Richie just had to tell her.

Now he just wished she’d stop teasing him about it. Every time he so much as looked at Eddie, there was Bev, grinning or winking at him. He loved her. She made him feel normal. Like his crush wasn’t wrong. So, he always just smiled right back at her.

On this particular day of their freshman year of high school, he was finding himself staring at Eddie even more than usual. He didn’t know why.

He stood up from the table and walked over to Eddie, throwing an arm over his shoulder, “Eddie Spaghetti! The germs aren’t germs aren’t gonna hurt you! I’ll protect you,” Eddie just rolled his eyes, “I told you not to call me that!”

The day went on normally. Nothing much happened, as far as Richie knew. He and Eddie had a sleepover planned for that night and that’s all Richie could think about.

The night finally came and Eddie arrived at Richie’s house. He knocked politely on the door and Richie immediately yanked it open and pulled Eddie into a bear hug, “Eddie spaghetti! Welcome!” Eddie pushed him off, trying his hardest not to smile. “Don’t call me that,” he let a smile slip through, “Trashmouth,”

The boys headed up to Richie’s room and sat on the bed. Richie’s parents weren’t home, so they could be as loud as they wanted. They talked for a while before Richie took Eddie’s hand and kissed it, “I love it when you come over, Eds, you know that?”

Eddie squeaked and blushed, before biting his lip and speaking softly, “there’s something I should probably tell you.” Richie raised his eyebrows, Eddie’s hand still grasped firmly in his own. Richie’s heart began to race. Eddie took a deep breath, “So, basically...” he averted his eyes, and Richie got his hopes up, only to have them come crashing down a moment later, “Betsy asked me out,” Eddie finished, looking at Richie once more.

Richie's heart fell. It fell so far he wasn’t sure if it was still there, “oh...” he whispered. He was trying so hard to hide his disappointment, but he knew it was obvious. Eddie took his hand and Richie’s heart fluttered, “don’t worry. Just because I’m going out with someone doesn’t mean I’m gonna forget about you. You’re my best friend,” Eddie smiled reassuringly at him. Richie smiled right back. That speech helped a bit, but Richie’s heart was still breaking.

The night went on as usual, but Eddie could tell that Richie wasn’t acting like himself. He figured Richie was probably just a still shocked by the news, so he didn’t mention it. Deep down, though, Eddie hoped that maybe Richie was jealous. That maybe he wasn’t scared to be forgotten, but scared that somebody else would be with his Eddie.

Richie let Eddie sleep in his bed and Richie slept on the floor. Usually they’d have no problem sharing his bed, but Richie just couldn’t stand being next to Eddie that night. He didn’t know what to do with his feelings. When Eddie fell asleep that night, Richie started crying. He let all his feelings out, burying his face in his pillow. It felt good, but his throat burned and his chest heaved. He was invisioning Eddie’s future with this girl.

Richie’s chest burned at her name. Betsy. A girl in Eddie’s English class. He had seen her around, but never thought very much of her. Now, all he wanted to do was see her disappear. He hated her. He hated that she got to have Eddie. He hated that she took him. He. Hated. Her.

Morning came and Eddie opened his eyes, peering over the side of the bed at Richie. His hair was a wild mess and his blankets were strewn across the floor around him. Eddie let out a quiet giggle and Richie groaned, rolling over to face him. “G’morning,”Eddie whispered, “sleep well?” Richie laughed and nodded. The memories of last night completely forgotten for just a moment. Boy, was that moment sweet, but it all came flooding back a moment later and he buried his face in his pillow once more.

Eddie left early that morning. As soon as he did, Richie picked up the phone and called Bev. It rang a couple times before she answered and she sighed into the phone, “it’s like 9 am, trashmouth, I was sleeping,” Richie tried to say something, but he just let out a loud sob and Bev started sounding more awake, “woah, Rich, what happened? Are you okay?”

Richie started to speak between broken sobs, “Eddie, Eddie, He-,” Richie sobbed and tried again, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm himself, “Somebody asked out Eddie. He said yes.” Richie finally managed to get out. Beverly gasped, “oh no, Richie...” She knew how much this crush meant to him, and hated how torn up he was about this.

Bev wasn’t sure what to say, but she had to say something, “do you remember when Bill and I dated?” She asked, and Richie nodded, before remembering he was on the phone and squeaking out a “yeah...” Bev continued, “Well, at the time Stan had had a huge crush on him. It was obvious, really,” Richie chuckled, remembering how red Stan used to get around Bill. Bev wasn’t done, “Bill and I dated for a couple months, but it didn’t work out, because Bill had finally realized his feelings for Stan. So, if Bill hadn’t dated me, he and Stan might not be so happy together right now. Does that makes sense?”

Richie was starting to feel better now. Bev always knew how to cheer him up, “yeah, it does, Bev. Thank you.” “Of course, Rich. Now, I’m gonna go back to bed,” Richie chuckled, “goodnight, Bev.” Bev just laughed and hung up the phone, leaving Richie to sit with his thoughts for a while.

Beverly had helped give him a bit more hope, but he still felt crummy. He decided to play some video games to try and get his mind off it, so he spent the rest of the day trying to keep his mind of Eddie, and failing miserably.

The losers club were supposed to get together the next day, and Richie just hoped it would all be okay. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sunday came and the losers decided to hang out at Bill’s house. Stan got there first, followed by Bev and Ben, Eddie, Mike, and finally, Richie. He arrived looking groggy and tired. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for him though, so nobody questioned it, but Bev knew why.

Richie still didn’t know why this was hitting him so hard. It’s not like Eddie would ever like him back, regardless of who he’s dating. It just tore him up in a way he couldn’t describe.

Richie walked over to Bev’s place on the couch and laid his head on her shoulder, she smiled sadly at him and ruffled his hair. Eddie looked slightly confused at this interaction but didn’t mention anything.

The day progressed and Richie returned to his normal self, or, as close to that as possible. He made dirty jokes, grinned his goofy grin and teased the losers. He couldn’t bring himself to be affectionate with Eddie, though. It just felt wrong. Scary. He couldn’t do it.

Eventually, the topic of Eddie’s new girlfriend (Richie clenched his jaw at the word) came up and Eddie couldn’t stop blushing. Richie tried his hardest to be happy for him, but it was just so difficult. He stayed mostly quiet while the losers were teasing Eddie about Betsy. He kept replaying the moment from Friday in his head. He was so sure that Eddie was going to confess feelings for him or... or something other than what actually happened.

Eventually, Richie got up to go to the bathroom, and when he came out, Eddie was waiting for him. He jumped when he saw Eddie, putting his heart on his chest and taking a deep breath, “Jesus, Eds, you scared the crap out of me!” Eddie didn’t smile, he just bit his lip, “are you okay?”

Richie nodded quickly, putting on a grin, “of course I’m okay, Eddie! Why wouldn’t I be?” Eddie sighed, “Dude, you never call me just ‘Eddie’, seriously, what’s up?” Richie just shook his head. “Eds, I’m fine!” It came out a little too loud, and Eddie’s eyes widened.

Richie walked back into Bill’s living room to find the losers staring at him. He locked eyes with Beverly and she motioned for him to sit back down. He shook his head and started towards the door, “it’s been fun learning about what virgins talk about, but I have to get to my date with Eddie’s mom, so I’ll see you losers later!” He laughed, but it didn’t reach his eyes and he walked out.

Bill’s living room was silent as Eddie walked back into the room, “where did- where is...?” He trailed off, realizing that Richie bailed, he let out a disappointed, “oh”, before plopping himself down on the couch and leaning his head on his fist.

The silence persisted for a couple more seconds before Eddie mumbled, “is Richie mad at me?” He sounded close to crying and Bev had to bite her tongue to keep from spilling Richie’s secret. Nobody spoke. Mike put an arm around Eddie and rubbed his back.

A couple of the losers left shortly after that, leaving just Ben, Stan, Bill, and Beverly. There was a couple minutes of silence and Beverly decided she just couldn’t hold her tongue any longer and she started to spew out words, “Richie has a massive fucking crush on Eddie, it’s actually insane,” she started rambling, “Richie called me last night. He was crying over Eddie getting a girlfriend. He was so torn up about it, I didn’t know what to do.” She keeps talking, feeling the weight of this secret come off her shoulders, the boys just stare at her with wide eyes, “Richie’s been telling me about his crush for months. He’s crazy about Eddie, and I have no idea if Eddie even looks at him that way and it makes me so sad that I can’t help him in any way except for keeping his secret which I just totally spilled to you guys, but I just don’t know what to do anymore.” She finally finished, her breaths heaving from the absurd amount of talking.

Bill nodded and uttered a small, “wow...”. Stan just burst into laughter. Bev furrowed her eyebrows at him, “what on earth are you laughing at?” It just made him laugh harder. He started to speak, giggling in between words, “it’s so fucking obvious, holy shit.” Everyone else stared at him, wide-eyed, Bill laughed awkwardly, “I... had no idea...” Ben nodded in agreement, shrugging his shoulders.

Bev let herself giggle a little, “it is kind of obvious, I mean, Rich is constantly staring at him and touching him. He doesn’t hide it very well.” Stan nodded, grinning, “I gotta admit, Eddie being into a girl really threw me a curveball,” The four losers all laughed at this comment. None of them could really dispute it.

They spent the rest of that day chatting about Richie and Eddie, and wondering if Eddie and Betsy were really going to be a thing.

Richie, though, was walking through a park at this moment. He was trying to clear his thoughts. He found himself thinking about Eddie far too much in these past days. He just wanted a break. He sat down on a park bench and pulled out a small leather-bound notebook. It was tattered and faded, but it was Richie’s prized possession. It’s where he wrote all his song lyrics.

Not many people knew, but Richie wrote a lot of songs. He saved up for years to buy his first (and only) guitar. He always wrote his feelings into song lyrics and added chords to them later. Most of his songs were about Eddie. Although, there were quite a few of his friends and even more about his insecurities. He was, in truth, a very insecure person. He often felt like the losers club hated him, and he wrote that dejectedness into songs.

He wasn’t sure exactly what his song lyrics were going to be about that night, so he just started writing. Scribbling lyric after lyric, and it all turned out to be something that expressed his feelings perfectly. It sometimes felt stupid that he would write all these lyrics down, only to never perform them to anyone.

He’d actually planned to maybe perform them for Eddie one day, but he didn’t think that was going to happen. Writing all his feelings out still made him feel better though, so it didn’t matter how stupid it felt. It reassured him. Grounded him. Helped him realize that everything was going to be okay.

He checked his watch after a while only to realize that it was getting pretty late, so he stood up, tucked his notebook under his arm and headed home.

The night was crisp and quiet. There were coloured leaves covering the ground. It made Richie feel calm. Peaceful. He felt the cool air rub against his face. It had been a rather long fall and Richie absolutely loved it. Somehow, it helped give him inspiration.

He walked for a couple of minutes before finally arriving home, only to find the one and only Edward Kaspbrak standing on his doorstep, arms wrapped tightly around himself, staring daggers at Richie. Swiftly, Richie took off the large jean jacket he had found at the local thrift shop and wrapped it around the smaller boys shoulders.

Eddie continues to glare at him before speaking shakily, “What the fuck is your problem?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter and it’s also kind of terrible, but I wanted to write another chapter, so here y’all go!


	3. Chapter 3

Richie stared at Eddie for a moment, not sure what to say, “I-“ Before he could get a word out, Eddie interrupted him, “no, Richie! You’re being unfair! After all these years of girls thinking you’re cute but completely disregarding me, somebody finally likes me enough to spare me a second glance, and you’re getting all weird about it!” Eddie starts to rant, his face turning red. He feels an asthma attack coming on but he won’t let himself stop.

“What is your fucking problem? You constantly tease me, you call me names and joke about sleeping with my mom. You call yourself my best friend, but when I find somebody who actually wants to date me, someone who actually wants to be around me, you start ignoring me.”

Richie tried to intervene, “Eds...” he spoke softly, reaching out to touch Eddie, to try to calm him. Eddie just kept talking, “I just want to be able to date someone who likes me without you complaining or being an asshole,” Richie tried to intervene again, a bit more confidently this time, “Eds!”, but Eddie just kept talking.

“You get everything! Everybody likes you more than me, you’re attractive, you’re tall, you’re talented. So why won’t you let me have this one thing? Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why can’t you just let me be ha-“ Richie interrupted him abruptly, screaming at him, “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” That shut Eddie up quickly.

Richie wiped a tear from his own eyes. He hadn’t realized he was crying. He stared down at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him. He snuck a glance up. Eddie’s mouth was agape, his eyes were glazed over, he was hugging Richie’s jacket to him, not sure how to react to this situation.

Richie reached to touch him, but Eddie stepped back. Richie sighed, running a hand through his hair, “look, Eddi-“ Eddie help up his hand to tell Richie to stop, and just like that, in the cover of the moonlight, Eddie turned from Richie and started walking home. Richie watched him go. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders, but it was replaced with dread, deep in the pit of his stomach. 

The rest of Richie’s night was spent trying to sleep, but failing miserably. He tossed and turned, thinking of what Eddie would think of him now. Richie was sure Eddie would hate him. Despise him even. He felt awful. He had fucked up everything and he just wished he could disappear.

Richie didn’t show up to school the next morning. He hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before and he just didn’t think he could face anyone. So, he stayed in bed. That’s all he did. He stared at his ceiling, willing himself to just sink into his bed and never come back.

Eddie however, had shown up to school. He was wearing Richie’s jacket. He wanted to give it back. He had looked for Richie all day. He wasn’t in class, and Eddie began to worry. While worrying was nothing new for Eddie, he felt guilty. He just wanted his best friend to be here. He wore Richie’s jacket all day, just hoping he was okay. Hoping Richie wouldn’t hate him. He knew Richie would get over it and he was in no way angry at Richie for feeling this way about him. The thing that really ticked him off was that Richie hadn’t told him he was gay earlier. Did he really think that Eddie would think any less of him? He tried to shake all of those 

Eddie had a date planned with Betsy after school. They were going to go to a local diner. Eddie was more nervous than he thought he should be. He was scared. Scared that he would mess up or scare her away, yes, but something in him was also scared that he wouldn’t have feelings for her. It baffled him. 

He guessed that Richie must have psyched him into thinking that maybe he was gay too. Yet again, though, Eddie has always thought Richie was too attractive for his own good and he had always loved being close to Richie and he couldn’t help but get a fluttery feeling in his stomach when Richie flirted with him. Maybe he did have feelings for- Eddie shook those thoughts out of his head. All he knew was that he would do anything not to lose Richie. So, he decided that after his date, he’d go over to Richie’s to return his jacket.

His date came quickly, and honestly, it was super awkward. It was mostly filled with small-talk and Eddie felt super obligated to touch her, so he took her hand from across the table, repressing a cringe at himself. She smiled at him when he did it. He just felt awkward. They are their food in silence. Eddie just didn’t have a good time. At the end of their date, he held the door for her and she tried to kiss him. He moved away. He had no idea why. He just didn’t want his first kiss to be with her. 

Betsy bit her lip and looked Eddie up and down, “Eddie,” she started, “are you gay?” Eddie started sputtering, saying he wasn’t and asked how she could have such a ridiculous idea. She smiled, “it’s totally okay if you are. Really, I don’t judge and if you are, I’m fine just being friends.” Eddie just looked at her, mouth hanging open. Betsy nodded, “that’s all I needed. I wish you good luck in the future. I had a lot of fun today,” she stepped towards him and kissed him on the cheek, before smiling her warm smile once more and walking off. 

Eddie stood there for a while, trying to register what had just happened. Was he gay? Betsy was beautiful, with blonde hair and a warm, kind smile, but he felt nothing for her, and when he thought about it, he had never had a crush on a girl. He didn’t know how to feel. He had never even considered his sexuality. He had always just assumed his attraction to girls would sprout later. He suddenly felt tired.

He started walking towards Richie’s house. His mother wasn’t expecting him home until a little later. He knocked on Richie’s door once and when he got no answer, he took the spare key from under the houseplant in from of Richie front door and used it to open the door. He snuck up to Richie’s room and silently crept through the door. He saw Richie laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling blankly, and his heart broke. He closed Richie’s door and placed his jacket on the floor. 

What he did next surprised him. He crept to Richie’s bed and crawled in. He felt Richie jump, and Eddie just wrapped his arms around Richie’s torso, resting his head on his chest and closing his eyes. Moments later, he felt Richie wrap his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and pull him close. Richie buried his face in Eddie's hair, inhaling deeply. They fell asleep like that. Peacefully in each other's arms. Eddie felt safe. Richie felt his head clear for the first time in days. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda horrible, but whatever. Anyway, if y’all wanna follow my social media’s, my instagram is @lilrayofsunshineee, my tumblr is @beepbeepbitchie (My personal is @lilrayofsunshineeee and my broadway account is @evanspeaksforthetrees). Follow if you want to, I’d really appreciate it! Thank you for all your kind comments and kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not sure if I should keep writing this story, so some feedback would be really helpful!


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